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II

by Birches

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1.
everyone's got the way they say how they get through a day how they keep their sanity if I had mine, it'd be something like this with my hands at my side all day balled up in a fist and where I will end up could be only up to me and where you fall down is where you'll always see in your head, in your heart is the sound of waiting of course it's all relevant gotta put on a face gotta formulate your sentences this life is not an experiment in your head, in your heart the sound of waiting where you go, where you are is the sound of waiting
2.
Bounce House 01:50
Don't hold me accountable I'm always the last to know All there is, and all there was, and all that there will be Manifest entropy The only time I lie is when you ask "is everything alright?" Everything is fine. Everything alright, alright? The problem with fatalism is nobody wins The problem with fatalism is nobody wins Don't hold me accountable I'm always the last to know.
3.
where do I begin to capture a moment of being a little kid sheer possibility was enough back then but longing won't do provokes dormancy call me what I am a fool Andrew, it was your basement by the airport it was your dog behind a broken door shaking hands and shaking floors if you only knew how far we could go if I only knew you knew it was a summer and a habit and a half is the past just the pretense to calling my bluff why am I addicted to this feeling that I never have touched is there a palpable sense of us all giving up i'm caustic to catalyst that caused us to grow up i'm thankful for your service and for your friendship hope you're flying as i'm writing this to your next of kin
4.
Dresden 03:31
Theres a hole in the frame of the window And in the winter it gets cold Who's to blame? Where does the guilt go? There's bodies in these buildings, did you know? There's fissures, can't you see, in the architecture There's flaws inherently in a system that's so simple Did you hear the bells of Dresden? There were saints and gods there, too. What happened to them? That's the hole where the church was That's the hole where the guilt goes And there's no blame. There's no sacrificing They've taken it away. No, we took it back ourselves Did you hear the bombs in Dresden? Did you hear the bombs in Kabul? Did you hear the bombs in... does it matter? Did you hear a thing? I'm a child, I'm a failure. You're the hole in the frame of the window. I'm a child, I'm a failure. You're the hole in the frame of the window.
5.
Reflector 03:44
I let myself down push on the earth to get back up you weren't around familiar sight and solitude I got the message specific and directed at how fucking pathetic all these filthy habits are I drag you into in love in darkness, you are lost what a selfish fucked up way to get out raised hands in the back of the class so astute but no one will ever call on you if you only knew the burden you had to carry the rest of your natural life would you have graced them with your presence would you have gone outside would you have walked alone that night will you let them all down push on the earth at their expense your nose to the grindstone your tired excuses to get out of this you said in a message you want one day of respite one day off, one day at home one day to remember how to be alone in love in darkness, you are lost its the only way that you know how bright lights you never saw you had could guide you away, could guide you out I breathe through my nose and out my mouth im a thief with audacity to stay at the scene of the crime with blood on my face was a hand that fed, there was a life taken away in love in the darkness and you're lost
6.
I'm sorry about your plans and what you wanted to do But someone had to lose and I'm glad it was you. You gotta blame yourself, there's no one else I'm just the bearer of bad news There's nothing more painful than facing the truth Admitting to yourself that there is nothing inside you Looking inside yourself and all that is left The presence of a void inside the hollow of your chest You gotta blame yourself, there's no one else I'm just the bearer of bad news You traded life for love and came up short What a terrible burden There's nothing else. I really wish there was I'm just the bearer of bad news
7.
waking up is bound to kill me perhaps it could kill us all but why contemplate existence or lack there of when its forbidden to cast a shadow long forgotten catastrophe It's not a death wish When every animal Chews on the corner of it's cage So why wouldn't I do the same? So why wouldn't I do the same? punishment fit for protectors the fruit explained with callous intentions eternity never could have felt so long involuntary penance isn't a penance at all I've been alive too long Failed, forgotten purpose So leave me in the dirt and detritus I can't feel So why am I still here?
8.
I spent all my time wasted on something I thought I should be lights are on, doors are open I watch the ceiling fan swing we walked outside in the morning I put a blanket down by our side it was cold felt the wind blow so we set the picnic all on fire I keep thinking that day was something worth us holding onto you said the cycle's vicious you said it like you meant it too I laugh now at the thought of it made me sick once, now it makes me see but your brain is black and blue im just watching the time im just watching the time go by so I shuffle on ahead the storm knocked us out of bed we stood up, tried to shake it off and fell in love when we reached the rooftop and I can't try to speak out loud I keep pushing right through the crowd hear a noise get distracted I think it over reenact it I keep thinking that day should have been forgotten long ago its buried in the back yard press your hands straight into snow it'll keep us all awake it'll keep us all alive it'll be the last thought that enters your mind and I won't be there no I won't be there be aware there's a window that you're fully capable of jumping through and see the stairs, at the bottom is an exit that I could take you to I won't speak out, I won't laugh loud ill let you set your demons free be that as it may, in the morning ill be gone, I won't come looking for you
9.
Simple ghost, you're nothing more and nothing less Than a mirror with nothing to reflect And every photograph of you is just pictures of pieces of paper Scattered Will I be forgotten? I don't want to be forgotten I suggest that time is nothing more Than a countdown until I'm drunk again And every morning I wake up, I wonder if I didn't Would it matter? Will I be forgotten? I don't want to be forgotten Simple ghost, you're nothing more and nothing less Than a mirror with nothing to reflect And every photograph of me is just pictures of pieces of paper Scattered Will I be forgotten? I don't want to be forgotten I know how this ends for people like me
10.
Unglued 03:36
tell me how you really feel but first make it worth your time if you don't know then I don't know where this is going you've spoken all night long without getting tongue twisted then you grab me by the wrist off a cliff and we just skipped in where you just went you know that's past my boundaries don't get me shit about having my boundaries fuck you and your manipulative bullshit turned my phone off the moment I got answers it took all year long for me to come unglued but now that I have I think I see a real you found my brain, my heart, my soul but where is my friend won't deceive myself again or waste my trust on you this wasn't a matter of friends it was a life lesson it was your chance to prove your character, your ability to muster up some courage instead you chose to flee won't waste one more second trying to right what you have wronged the problem is the problem never was one to you at all if you've gotta go now's the best time as ever to just go if you've gotta go, just go
11.
Worried 02:24
Tell me, should we be worried? It seems such a simple thing Does it bloom and blossom or Like turning out a light? I know, I know, I know I'm afraid to die I just wish my life Was a book I could put down for a while I know, I know, I know
12.
13.
Rifts 04:50
is this where you go when you don't have a home to run away from cause the bed was too cold and here's where the clocks get tangled in knots time becomes your master that's not what im after if you cant stay that's okay sorta saw this coming better not to keep on wondering but I could play the charade about the look on my face thought it was sort of funny smiling with your tears still running I know it makes me ache every second that we have to wait there's not a lot to say fate's not a choice we make why can't I know the path we chose I can't wait for you

about

Birches is David, Keith, and Ryan.

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released March 9, 2020

Recorded by Birches in our practice space during the winter and spring of 2019. We own one microphone and we used it.

Mastered by Will Killingsworth.

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Birches Chicago, Illinois

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